17, and i want a baby.

[little_oulton_gal]

Hi im 17 years old me an my fiance have been together for 2years, weve been through thick and thin. last year i had a misscarriage on an unplanned pregnancy, we were both devastated! now we both want to try for a baby. we have a flat, he has a job i have a part time job and am finishing a college corse this year. is it so wrong to feel this way i get upset wen i see parents and children, my course is childcare i hate working with babies when i want my own. am i too young? all it needs is love and money and security that we can offer HELP!!!

[taniaaust1]

Hi im 17 years old me an my fiance have been together for 2years, weve been through thick and thin. last year i had a misscarriage on an unplanned pregnancy, we were both devastated! now we both want to try for a baby. we have a flat, he has a job i have a part time job and am finishing a college corse this year. is it so wrong to feel this way i get upset wen i see parents and children, my course is childcare i hate working with babies when i want my own. am i too young? all it needs is love and money and security that we can offer HELP!!!

I think that is all understandable seeing you've lost a child and you are in a steady relationship with one you love. Having a child while young has both its pros and cons like most things, I know this myself as I was a teen when I had both my children. One benefit I found from having my children while young is that I was more patient then than I are now, but you do have plenty of time to have one. A negative aspect of having a child while very young is that others tend to watch you more..and tend to try to interfere more with what you are doing and how you are wanting to raise the child.

Also realise thou that having another child may not necessarily replace all the loss you feel from the other. Ask yourself if you are wanting to do this to replace the one you lost? It may be better for you to have a little more time before trying for another.

I'd suggest thou to finish your course first .. as problems can come along with pregnancy which if you were unlucky could stop you from being able to complete your course. It's always best to set yourself up well before having a child.. its much easy to get those studies done while young. I personally think you would be better off finishing your studies first.

You also have to be prepared to raise that child no matter what goes on in your life throu life changes and the thick and the thin, with someone or without someone.

[NurseCJT]

Hi im 17 years old me an my fiance have been together for 2years, weve been through thick and thin. last year i had a misscarriage on an unplanned pregnancy, we were both devastated! now we both want to try for a baby. we have a flat, he has a job i have a part time job and am finishing a college corse this year. is it so wrong to feel this way i get upset wen i see parents and children, my course is childcare i hate working with babies when i want my own. am i too young? all it needs is love and money and security that we can offer HELP!!!

I feel your pain. I'm not one to judge at all. I was 15 when I got pregnant with my first daughter. I am now 19 and am married and I'm expecting again!! My husband and I are very excited about our new arrival. But I do want to give you a word of caution. When I got pregnant with my daughter I was very young. Try not to rob yourself of too much of your teenage years. Believe me it's very hard to go to college and keep a relationship together when you have a little one around. I got my GED, had my daughter, and started my first semester of college all in the same year at the very young age of 16. My daughter's dad and I stayed together for 3 years and the relationship ended because it was just too hard on us to have a baby at such a young age. But I met my now husband in nursing school and I have graduated from college with a degree. I was the youngest person in my nursing class by far. Don't get me wrong, I am by no means telling you that you shouldn't go for it if you and your soon to be hubby know that you are ready. But if I had to give you any advice at all it would be to know what you want if every aspect of your life before you get pregnant. Know how far you want to go in college and have goals set for when you will get a degree by. That way your and you fiance are on the same page as to where you are and where you want to be. I know that if I could go back, I wouldn't change a thing. I love my daughter. And if I hadn't had to quite school and go to college at such a young age I never would have met my husband who I love very much. I wish you all the best!!!!! Good luck!!

[Unregistered]

Keep in mind that having a baby/family is not all its cracked up to be. Seriously!!! A baby adds SOOO much stress to a relationship. There so much more to a child than just having it around and all the fun stuff that you see other parents doing. Think about all of the responsibility that baby/child (you've got AT LEAST 17-18 years of supporting this child-no matter what you may think... you'll ultimatley be responsible for this child's care for AT LEAST this long...). That's why so many relationships just don't last this huge stress, some people don't look at the big picture before they start having babies.
Please, I know you may think you and your BF have been through a lot together, but, you're both still VERY young and have alot to experience before you should even start to consider getting into such a huge situation. Just talk to some divorced couples/people and they can tell you just what a huge responsibility and stress a child can bring to a relationship.
And, then think, can you raise this child ALONE, without child support, because so many parents do have to raise a child with out monetary support... be aware of what COULD happen. Don't go into this decision wearing your 'rose colored glasses'.
Please...

[Unregistered]

I completely understand how you feel. I am also 17 and want a baby. I have not had the pain of a miscarrage and i offer my heart felt sorrow for your loss. My boyfriend and i want to wait until i am 18 until we actually start trying but I am scared of how i would tell my parents that i was trying for a baby. I love my boyfriend with all my heart and we want a life together but am a worried that he will up and leave me when the baby is born. His parents aren't the problem as he is 3 years older than me and they are very understanding. I have friends that have babies and that all they wanted was a baby but i actually want the joy of watching my baby change and grow into a child then teenager then an adult. If anyone has advice for me too it would good because i am in a similar situation.

[Unregistered]

. all it needs is love and money and security that we can offer HELP!!!

It does sound simple doesn't it? Not trying to sound negative but in one instant, love money and security, could be gone. I understand you have been together for 2 years. Love at your age sounds and feels like it will be for an eternity! I had that once too, it all fell apart. I am by no means sayin that willl happen to you. Actually, I'd do anything for young love again....
You have some of the best years of your life ahead of you. I got married in my mid 20's (not to my 1st love) Had a baby, which is the love of my life! Went through years of hard times. Multiple deaths in family, depression, bankruptcy, miscarriage. Still we stayed by each other. Now in my mid 30's, I am disabled due to serious health issues. I sometimes cannot determine where time has gone. I went right from my parents to my husband and into this grown up life. Do not get me wrong, I love my daughter and hubby with my whole heart. But I never got to taste life. And now, unfortunatly, I physically cannot. I do not want to try and discourage you in any way. I guess I just want to let you know, when things seem perfect, they are not always that way. Maybe I am just wishing I would of waited a little longer and lived life a little more freely when I had the chance. Honey, only you know what is good for you. Follow your heart. I know how devastating a miscarriage can be. And I also know how rewarding a baby can be. My prayers are with you and I wish you the best no matter what decision you make. Take care....hugs to you

[Unregistered]

Yes, you are too young! For crying out loud, you're only 17!!! Think about it. How much money do you and your boyfriend make a year? If it's under $40,000 a year don't even think of it. Do you have any idea how much health insurance costs for a family? Darling, go to college, get a degree, and hold off on having a baby... at least get married first. If he won't even make a commitment to marry you how can he make a commitment to raise a baby with you?!??!?

[pumibel]

Yeah, you are way too young. You have time, and you need it to establish your career, for your man to establish one, too. I think you will be very disallusioned if you get pregnant now. You change a lot in maturity level after you turn 20, and then more so after that. Men and women mature differently, and the relationship can change even after a couple of years. If you have a baby and then grow apart, you will be an 18 to 20-something single mom just trying to make ends meet. It gets in the way of a loving relationship between mother and child. I became a single mom at 26 with a good career and still had a hard time, so please, please, please, take your time and listen to everyone's advice.

[pumibel]

I completely understand how you feel. I am also 17 and want a baby. I have not had the pain of a miscarrage and i offer my heart felt sorrow for your loss. My boyfriend and i want to wait until i am 18 until we actually start trying but I am scared of how i would tell my parents that i was trying for a baby. I love my boyfriend with all my heart and we want a life together but am a worried that he will up and leave me when the baby is born. His parents aren't the problem as he is 3 years older than me and they are very understanding. I have friends that have babies and that all they wanted was a baby but i actually want the joy of watching my baby change and grow into a child then teenager then an adult. If anyone has advice for me too it would good because i am in a similar situation.

You don't trust him to stay with you so don't have the baby.

You girls should spend a day or two in a house with a single mom (who doesn't live with her parents). You need to see the reality and not the cute fluffy stuff. Also- If you are raising a child in your parents' homes you are also selfishly placing a burden on them, as well.

[AcIdBuRn02ZTS]

Becoming a parent is a huge ordeal whether you are 17... or 25... or any age.

Unreg- If you fear he would leave you, then be smart and wait... before a child comes along, perhaps a ring and a home should come first. Being a single mom isnt very fun... (I'm 18 now... and have only seen my father a handful of times) My mom was in her twenties... she raised my brother and I by herself and it was no easy task by any means. Working 3 jobs back to back to back just to put food on the table... either way, be smart about your decision.

Anyways, my fiancee and I are the same way. We really want a baby, but we also knows how much harder it would make things for us. We plan on waiting until we are firmly situated with a roof over our heads and food on the table before we try for children. I am a strong believer that marriage should come before children do... but only you know if your ready for that resposibility.

-AcId-