Antisocial personality disorder?

[Unregistered]

My daughter is 15 and has been suspended from school for stealing money, not once but daily for 3 months! They just now suspended her because they have witnesses recently that saw her doing it. Her stealing has been an issue for over 7 years. It started off with little things, erasers, pencil sharpeners and such, but for the past few years it is mass amounts of money. She forged my signature on school papers saying we needed assistance with lunches for her because of all her brothers and sisters, we didn't have enough to go around. She is an only child and we make in excess of $90k a year! She lies constantly, regardless of what it is about. She shows no sign of guilt for her actions, really shows no regret at all. Her nature comes off as angelic and can do no wrong, she is also very immature for her age(acts maybe 12). The school couselor said " she appears to have a golden halo above her", but the counselor also saw right through the behavior and advised us of the anti-social personality. Her grades are dropping because she won't do the work; she has a smart mouth and disrespectful nature; won't do chores or even make her bed; overall claims she is doing nothing wrong and sees nothing wrong with what she is doing. Since her suspension, she now talks of "if I wasn't here this wouldn't happen" but I have asked her if she wasn't here, where would she be and she says she doesn't know. Is that an indication of suicidal thoughts? We live in a small town, quite a driving distance to a major city and there aren't very many doctors here that you could class as professional. I know no one here can ofer a diagnosis, but anyone got any ideas what it sounds like so I cna look it up on the web and get some answers? Thank you!

[Unregistered]

is she physically small?was she small at birth?

[crazybrazy]

A workmate of mine's daughter, was recently diagnosed with bpd(borderline personality disorder) She also shows some anti-social behaviors. I have actully known her daughter for quite some time, and she sounds like yours. She started acting this way in elementry school, and it just got worse. Maybe taking her to a counselor that isn't at school would be a good idea. They could help you deal or work with her in day to day situations. I am so sorry that you have to go through all that. I hope you have gotten something figured out. Good luck.

[Unregistered]

In regards to "is she small" : yes. She is 5'2" 103 lbs., very petite. She was normal at birth, normal full term, average sized baby. What does that possibly indicate?

In regards to the second response: Since I posted this, I have taken her to a therapist / psychologist for evaluation outside of the school. After 3 visits, each about an hour and a half long, he said there is nothing wrong with her. Christmas break has just been a real treat. She has thrown baby fits in the store parking lot because I told her to behave when we went in the store, so she began to walk as if she was stiff and started to pout and cry. I sent her out to do some yard work, she cried with the excuse " I can't pick things up today, find me another job to do..." She was screaming at the dog for no reason with a satanic growl in her voice, which for her was unusual. She always speaks so quietly and whiny, you can barely hear her.

Seems no matter where we turn we are getting nowhere. She wants to move out and move into an aunt's house. Swears she will stop the lying, stealing, nasty behavior, crappy grades. The therapist guy said to let her move out, with the condition that one mistake she comes home immediately and will not return. I took her to the juvenile probation office, where the officer was slamming things around and yelling at her, she could care less so he gave her community service. That didn't phase her in the least, she did hte service and seemed to enjoy herself. When we went back to see the officer for a followup visit, he gave her more community service because she has not changed her attitude any. Even he doesn't know what to do with her.

Thanks for anyone's input, I am relieved to see I am not the only one with a "problem" child.

[Unregistered]

thanks for the reply to"is she small".as to what it may indicate,its early days yet.i need to know more.(but i was right about "small"so it may be worth your while to answer again,so we can narrow this down to a more specific indication.)i need to know if she was anxious or fretful as a baby.if you do not want to engage in dialogue you need not do so.but facts and observations are better than guesses.even if in the end ,as is possible the results of our efforts are inconclusive.thats science.the more you observe the better it gets!thanks again for replying to what may seem to be an irrelevant enquiry.

[justcurious]

You might want to take a look at the NAMI web site at www.nami.org they have a lot of information about this type of thing and resources that perhaps you could use.

[Unregistered]

i have a friend who's daughter is going thru the same symptoms. In the last couple of years she has progressively gotten more destructive in her behavior. The running away, acting out in school, disrepectful to others including her mother is just some of the problems that exist. It is also troubling to see that much of her personality mirrors her mothers, but it isn't being addressed by therapist. The disrespect of others and manipulation the rudeness and excessive yelling are just a few of the ways that she exhibits. I was wondering if a therapist or psychiatrist would ever link the two behaviors together in order to help both of them.

[Unregistered]

to unregistered mother of undiagnosed and problematic daughter.please consider replying to my request for information.i assure you that i am building a picture which will result in a diagnosis for you.i am not wasting your time and i am not shooting in the dark.but i will need to be very sure that i have got it right before i commit myself.it is all too important to rush to judgement.but there is urgency too.if i am right about my developing understanding here,i have to say that suicide -one of the concerns which you mention,-is not unknown in these circumstances.the possibility that she may leave home -another of your worries ,-is also a consistent part of the clarifying pattern.tell me; (another question,sorry,)do you share my concern that if she does leave,she will not be able to protect herself properly,and will become prey to all sorts of physical and moral dangers?do you agree that this is a realistic fear?i think for these two reasons,we need to do our thinking and analysis fast,but we mustnt jump the gun ,so to speak.please trust me .i know what i am talking about here.too many years have passed already.

[Unregistered]

As a baby, she was very good, not anxious or fretful. Slept all night, easily potty trained by 2!
The psychologist said no need to return for any more therapy sessions, he said there is nothing wromg with her! She is doing everything on purpose, and doesn't care. He said that is not a clinical or mental problem, just plain stubborn. He mentioned she does live in a fantasy world and it runs over into the real world, but still nothing clinical or mental. He advised to allow her to live with a relaitve, under our close watch of course, as a test to see if she improves like she claims she will. I have seen her at her aunt's house and she is truely a different person! If our trash is overflowing she won't take it out, until I say take out the trash, then I get a whine and attitude like it is the end of the world. At her aunt's house she doesn't need to be told, if she sees the trash over flowing, she automatically takes it out, and is happy about it. She is truely a Jeckyl & Hyde personality and very manipulative. Not sure how the pscyhologist did not see that.

[Unregistered]

thank you for replying.in my opinion,the psychologist is wrong.ask him why he has discounted the following pattern,and why he cant see the significance of itto restate your posts)1.physically ,emotionally and behaviourally immature.(the car park incident)2.lies .3.steals.4, acutely manipulative.(a continuing problem,i wonder if you can see it?or does she retain the initiative altogether?)5.shows no sign of conscience or guilt.6.impervious to censure.("it didnt phase her") (she could care less")7.emotionally explosive.(the bins)8..poor scholastic performance,in spite of evident intelligence.("crappy grades" despite being able to manipulate a row of professionals,and to-almost - pull off this dinner money scam!) 9.disrupted education,with suspension a feature.10.trouble with the law.(implicit in "stealing", and two!two!doses of community service.)11.poor attention span(the yard work incident).12.poor self care(the bed problem.tell me this isnt the tip of a big iceberg!)13.deterioration in behaviour in early adolescence..("its been going on for seven years"-the stealing-)14.baffling to others(even he -the juvenile probation officer- didnt know what to do with her.")15. stubborn.("she hadnt changed her attitude any"). 16.a deteriorating pattern.17 a pattern which is immediately recognisable to other forum users who have mentioned children in similar states of distress.18.a concern about suicide,(how can this be o.k?)19.belligerence.....(many examples of this) 20.( i am prepared to guess again..difficulties maintaining friendships....and i have ten more "guesses " up my sleeve,five of which will be accurate.) to sum up: i know what is going on here; i know its name and how it will develop.your psychologist does not know.and you do not want to know.you want me to tell you about acupuncture and reflexology,or vitamins or oriental medicine.end of story .end of my involvement.good luck.