No Sexual Desire

[hunting_tiger]

I need some help. I have no health insurance, but am having some sexual oriented problems. This has happened at least 3 times so far. Each time I find myself in a serious and long term relationship, my sex drive is normal for about 3-4 months, then it disappears. I stop desiring sexual and intimate contact with my boyfriend. I don't mind taking care of his needs, as long as it doesn't involve him touching me. I have loved all three of them very much, but I derive no pleasure from sex, it almosts grosses me out.
I need some help with this. If anyone has ever had this experience and got through it, I would love some ideas. I miss the idea of making love to my boyfriend, even if I don't miss the physical act, and it's driving a wedge between us.

[Tomm]

You probably have a hormonal problem/issue.

[eugeneoregon]

I am just researching something similar I've been experienceing for the past 2 years and I think I'm starting to figure things out. Have you had any sexual abuse in your past? What I am realizing for myself is that the sexual abuse I expeienced when I was young is now affecting my sex drive and sex life. Like you, it now repulses me. I have realized that there becomes a point in the relationship where sex is simply expected and the newness is gone. I think the issue for many women are that the feelings attached with the OBLIGATION of sex in a realationship can almost psych the woman out. It's almost as if since it's now just expected it takes on a different meaning that can be very traumatizing if the person has experienced sexual abuse in their past because often times sexual abuse is tied to feelings of forced consent. If this does not apply to you, then I'm sorry and I wish you the very best. If it does, then like me, perhaps a sexual psychologist would be beneficial in changing how sex is perceived. Good luck, friend~

[hunting_tiger]

There is no sexual abuse in my past that would explain the problems I am having now, and my boyfriend does not push me either, he knows if he pushes it will make things worse. The first serious relationship I was in, however, I did feel obligated to have sex with my then-boyfriend. It wasn't forced, but it was expected.

[Ichabad]

Well in the first place you should not be having sex outside of marriage! It is never a good idea because you could get diseases such as HIV.

[Unregistered]

Greetings: You've got your whole life ahead of you. Consequently, find a doctor you're comfortable with and start seriously looking for relief. Sex is a wonderful thing, I mean He created it didn't he?!! So, it's not something ugly or awful or any of that but if you have other problems with this the best advice anyone here could tell you would be .... go get professional help.

In the event you're up-tight about getting professional help, you shouldn't be. These people are 'into' the finding of resolutions, they're not going to slow down their life and focus on you, understand. You're cheating yourself and your future partner by putting this off. Surely, you can find a doctor who you're comfortable with that you can get all this info out on the table for them to do their thing. Which reminds me, make sure you tell them everything - just don't leave out something important.

Good luck and go get it done. Start now and you'll be way ahead of the game by spring

[Unregistered]

Well in the first place you should not be having sex outside of marriage! It is never a good idea because you could get diseases such as HIV.

Right, because as soon as you get married, it's impossible to get those diseases. Please. Practically NO ONE abstains - So do everyone a favor and teach them about safe sex practices JUST IN CASE they DON'T abstain (because they probably won't). Cultural schizophrenia.

[Unregistered]

Well in the first place you should not be having sex outside of marriage! It is never a good idea because you could get diseases such as HIV.

you have no right to judge her. If you have no advice for her that has to do with her problem, shut the **** up!

[EmmerLoo]

Take a look at your calendar.. its 2007. People are having sex and are starting younger then anyone cares to admit.

I suggest talking to someone about this issue and really understanding all you can about why you feel this way. Personally I have issues due to sexual abuse in my past and am just now getting better with what is inside me and who I am.

Sex is something we are naturally driven to do and everyone wants it no matter what they say.

[pumibel]

Well in the first place you should not be having sex outside of marriage! It is never a good idea because you could get diseases such as HIV.

Ichabad-
This does not help HT with her problem. This forum is not about your opinions on morality. It is about people's medical problems. You are trumping the thread and diverting attention from her problem, which is inconsiderate.

Hunting Tiger-
I agree that the expectation of sex could be the root of your issue. If you are still with your current man you can talk about it and maybe he will try to woo you again and start over. If you persue another relationship, try to start out right and only have sex when you really desire it rather than want to please your man (that is OK to an extent, but not the only reason to have sex.