Sex Drive=No Drive, Low Testorone

[waterfall]

My husband (age 36), was recently diagnosised with Low Testosterone and Type 2 Diabetes and given the Androderm patch. We have been married for 8 years and his sex drive has never seemed normal and it only got worse. I had begun to suspect that he was a homosexual.

He also has High Blood Pressure. I have brought his low libido up to a few doctors, but it was usally ignored because we have 4 kids. I have tried EVERYTHING over the years to encourage him on the importance of having an active sex life, from bibilical, physical and emotional well being. I have threatened to leave and cheat on him numerous times. He has pretty much ignored me.

So, I am relieved to know the cause. Although, I do believe that if he would have tried to do participate and used his "utensil" a little more frequently that it would not have gotten this bad so fast. He didnt kiss me, hold me, give massages or anything, absolutely nothing. We have had intercourse about 5-6 times this year and it is the middle of October. Does the old adage use it or loose it apply here? Please Help.....

[Unregistered]

My husband (age 36), was recently diagnosised with Low Testosterone and Type 2 Diabetes and given the Androderm patch. We have been married for 8 years and his sex drive has never seemed normal and it only got worse. I had begun to suspect that he was a homosexual.

He also has High Blood Pressure. I have brought his low libido up to a few doctors, but it was usally ignored because we have 4 kids. I have tried EVERYTHING over the years to encourage him on the importance of having an active sex life, from bibilical, physical and emotional well being. I have threatened to leave and cheat on him numerous times. He has pretty much ignored me.

So, I am relieved to know the cause. Although, I do believe that if he would have tried to do participate and used his "utensil" a little more frequently that it would not have gotten this bad so fast. He didnt kiss me, hold me, give massages or anything, absolutely nothing. We have had intercourse about 5-6 times this year and it is the middle of October. Does the old adage use it or loose it apply here? Please Help.....

Some men dont like sex that much. Your hubby is one of them.

He didnt lose what he never had to begin with. You said so yourself if you read your message again you will see that.

Good luck because I dont think you can change him.

[Unregistered]

I doubt your husband is a homosexual just from the content of what you wrote.

His issues could be anything from not wanting more children to testoserone to something else too but don't go off the deep end thinking it's something else.

However, you should know that many health conditions can also lead to erection problems or related issues.

I think you need to 'again' address his doctor with 'WE DON'T HAVE A SEX LIFE AND THAT IS NOT NORMAL'.

Maybe that's all you want to say. The person who talks last, loooossssesss.
Remember that. State the problem and listen. Re-state the problem but don't look like an smart-****, and listen again. Don't leave the exam room if you have to return. Change doctors for both of you if you have too.

You've got a tough job!! I feel sorry for you but give it a good shot. Even though your husband won't talk about it, you might say to him at a good time when four kids are not there: "look, all I want you to do is be honest with me and a doctor" but attempt to be nice about this for a number of times. This may take some time to get rolling. It's tough, lots of things could be in play here. See if his doctor will share findings with you, like testosterone levels etc.

Good luck -- write back some time.

[Dan Ryan]

I just wrote to you.

Was looking over your post again. I'm almost sure, there are two things one needs when Testosterone (lets call that "T" from now on is low.

One is T itself w/ a patch but there's also something in a packet (jell stubstance) that one applies to shoulders I think. The "T" allows/helps for the erection, the jell I'm talking about gives one the "Drive".

I can't recall right now what that is but check on it.

[searchinsam]

Sorry, but this is a long post.
I am really interested in your case; due to my own problems and the fact you mention your husband has type 2 diabetes.
Type 2 diabetes involves insulin resistance (but I am not too educated about diabetes – yet; as I have neither type 1 or 2 but I am a candidate if I don’t find a way to stop my down hill spiral. But I am confident I will find the breaks) but I am sure learning fast about the affects of insulin resistance.
Insulin resistance can cause muscle wasting – which I have suffered for probably 20 years - and it doesn’t’ matter how much T is in the system. Insulin resistance can reduce sex drive and it doesn’t matter how much T is in the system.
I have had testosterone shots every two weeks for six years and have normal T levels, no increase in sex drive and no increase in muscle, only decrease in both as I become more insulin resistant. Doctors are not interested, as they are mostly unaware of the affects of insulin resistance.
I also have suspected growth hormone deficiency (GHD) and low insulin like growth factor -1 (IGF-1). GHD and low IGF-1 in adults can lead to sexual dysfunction.
I now have to travel to another State in my country of Australia, to see an endocrinologist who just might know what he is talking about. I have been ignored for the past twelve years. Not including all the years before this; I have been complaining about my health since I was 12 and labeled a hypochondriac. I am 37.
I was also born biologically female but my brain is male in structure; I am female to male (FTM) transsexed. This is how I stumbled upon the info above; I started gender reassignment in 2000 and couldn’t understand why I was not developing muscle. I even tried body building at 18, without hormones, and couldn’t understand why I didn’t get anywhere.
But my condition has nothing to do with gender; it has everything to do with insulin resistance.
My muscle wasting and reduced sex drive has nothing to do with taking steroids, as out of the many hundreds of FTM’s worldwide, I am the only one (publicly documented) not to respond to T unless the FTM is diabetic. I have a connective tissue disorder called Ehlers-Danlos syndrome Type III (Hyper mobility in all my joints) and this may be only one contributing factor to some EDS sufferers experiencing muscle wasting and connective tissue disorders have been linked with insulin resistance but not understood.
Presently I am trying to have as many relevant tests conducted in order to help those with insulin resistance and the very negative affects this have on some, no matter what their gender or background.
To measure insulin, growth hormone function and IGF-1, an ITT (insulin tolerance test) needs to be conducted by an endocrinologist. A routine blood test for GHD will not show anything as GH fluctuates through the day. Insulin resistance may very well be the reason behind your husband’s problems; and that of many others, men and women. No amount of counseling or sitting down to reason and so forth is going to help without the correct diagnosis and treatment.
L-Arginine can help the body produce more growth hormone and IGF-1.
God bless, and all the best to you and your husband.
Agape,
searchingsam

[Unregistered]

sorry for my broken english, I m suffering the same, i have been married for 19 years, my husband has very low T, viagra Levitra and the patches for hormone replacements and injections dont help at all.
In a year we can achive sex 2 times, I m so sad all the time.
Sometimes I think he s gay , but he says he is not. He tells me he not able.
he wont talk, he goes from a doctor to the the other with new recipes and nothing ever changes.
I m desperate, Please help me!

[Unregistered]

It seems life just works this way, I'm a man with low testosterone and also take Androgel. It does effect my libido and other things about my mood and general health. But unlike you I am married to a woman with no sex drive so it is not as much of a problem for me as it is for you. My wife would be happy with sex 4 times a year.

For most of our marriage I was the one wanting more and felt frustrated. My libido has not dropped like your husbands, I still want sex several times a week, I just can't get it from my uninterested wife. I guess we all want what we can't have or can't get! Since realizing I had a testosterone problem I too noticed that I had fewer and shorter erections and less enjoyment form sex. But that was the least of it, I have lost strength, height, muscle, and put on weight unusually fast which are all symptoms. The medication is suppose to slow things down but has not really helped as much as I would have hoped.

[Unregistered]

I am a 40 y.o. male with low T. Doctors have no explanation for it, but it is the result of the pituitary secreting low levels of FSH and LH. There is no tumor. I have other undiagnosed health problems (widespread body pain, etc.) which has been tenuously labeled fibromyalgia.

Anyway, by the time the low T (total T around 190) was first discovered, my testes had shrunk to less than half their normal size. I started the T replacement (Androgel 5 g) and they continued to shrink. I felt the effects of the Androgel for about 1-2 months. My libido skyrocketed and my erections were very strong as my T levels climbed to 600. I even noticed my beard began to grow quickly again. When I complained that it felt like it was having less effect, and my levels decreased to about 450, my doc doubled the dose to 10 g/day and my levels shot up to near 1000. Well, in the two years since then, it's all been down hill. On varying doses, I cannot achieve total T levels higher than about 350, and it gets lower with each office visit. I now have very low sex drive and erectile difficulties, and my beard growth has again really slowed and become more sparse. My doc tried me on Testim, which seemed to work better than Androgel, but after a month the effects again began to decrease, and then I developed a blistery rash at the application sites, so I went back on Androgel. My endocrinologist seems happy that my levels are where they are, in the mid-300s, but I am not. He has never heard of anyone being resistant to T replacement therapy, so it seems as if he's willing to accept any levels that are higher than what I came through the door with. I just don't know why I can't get to 600 again. Because my wife has a very low sex drive, I'm just considering going off the T replacement altogether. I wish there was some other way.

[Unregistered]

I am 50 yrs old with type II diabeties and a normal to above normal sex drive my problem has been premature ejaculation. My wife has lost interest altogether and its been about a year since we last made love. Many of our problems I believe are psychological in nature but overcoming them can be exhausting. There are many well made videos that seek to help couples overcome some of the issues we face with age, health or other problems. Couples have to talk about what each other needs but just as important is that both have to be willing to make it work. Good Luck as for me, well I'm thiinking about the Priesthood.

[Unregistered]

My husband (age 36), was recently diagnosised with Low Testosterone and Type 2 Diabetes and given the Androderm patch. We have been married for 8 years and his sex drive has never seemed normal and it only got worse. I had begun to suspect that he was a homosexual.

He also has High Blood Pressure. I have brought his low libido up to a few doctors, but it was usally ignored because we have 4 kids. I have tried EVERYTHING over the years to encourage him on the importance of having an active sex life, from bibilical, physical and emotional well being. I have threatened to leave and cheat on him numerous times. He has pretty much ignored me.

So, I am relieved to know the cause. Although, I do believe that if he would have tried to do participate and used his "utensil" a little more frequently that it would not have gotten this bad so fast. He didnt kiss me, hold me, give massages or anything, absolutely nothing. We have had intercourse about 5-6 times this year and it is the middle of October. Does the old adage use it or loose it apply here? Please Help.....

I am 24 and I really dont want sex all that much. I don know if its becuase I am sexually unattractd to my lover or not. Iv enever wanted sex mor ethan once a night, and sometimes I just dont want it full stop.
Your husbands problems may be anxiety based so telling him you will leave and cheat on him wont do him any favours and I think thats a bit out of order on your part.
Good luck though, I hope it all works out