November 11th, 2007 06:14 AM #1Junior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
I'm not sure where the line is between tourettes and OCD...Ever since I had a strep infection at 5 years old I have had tics which seem to be like tourettes. I have had hundreds of different tics, mostly with my eyes and face, and usually have around 3 or 4 at the same time, each one lasting for a couple months before being replaced by a new one.
Lately I have begun to think I might have OCD as well. I have a lot of little things I do, such as translating thoughts and the things i hear into as many languages as i can, typing out words on an imaginary keyboard (not completely, just kind of twitching the finger I would use), praying, etc. I do not think anything bad would happen if I dont do these things, it is just an urge like blinking.
However I do feel like something bad would happen if I don't do certain random things. About 3-4 times a day, I get 'feelings' that I should do something. Like, for instance, I get a strong feeling that I should pay a bill at a certain moment, or else I will not remember. Or I feel like I should refrain from killing a certain bug (but have no problem with the others) for reasons I can't explain. Sometimes I think maybe this is divine advice...I mean, think about chaos theory and how one small act can lead to a large difference somewhere else (maybe the bug I didn't kill will feed a lizard which will help it to stay alive long enough to find its way into a house, where a woman will find it and call her husband who will get up from his chair just in time to avoid seeing something particularly upsetting on TV.) I never think about a possible reason when I get these feelings, it is just like an instinct or something. Then later, if I don't have anything better to do, I try to rationalize it after the fact
Anyway the last thing I have been doing is obsessing over my life, and feeling afraid that everything is important and that I am going to fail my goals of having a family and friends and everything else I want. This has gotten so bad that I believe it is the cause of my recent and ongoing experience with depersonalization disorder...