am I wrong for wanting baby so young?

[Heather67]

I'm sixteen years old. I am very much so in love with my boy friend. About two months ago we decided to try for a baby. No luck yet. We both have part time jobs and are going to school. I will Graduate in a few ,months, from my community collage. Then I can start on more hours at work. I have told my mother about what we are trying to do and his dad also knows. All I keep hearing from both of them are lectures. I understand that we are young, but we have decided on what we want. I wish people would respect our decision and not look down on us like we have no idea as of what we are doing. I have been around kids my whole life and weirdly but truly have wanted one since I was two years old.
Now this is not like I don't have any plans for our family.
I have a bank account, I always budget my money, spend my time wisely, and I hope to go to collage when I am eighteen. I want to be a Nurse.
But if I have my baby sooner then later, then I don't have to go as soon as I am eighteen, and can wait a few years until my child gets older.
And my neighbor has already offered me a job when I'm eighteen, he is high up in the company and I only have to work from 5 A.M to 3 P.M making $15.00 an hour.
So to me that's pretty good. Or my boyfriend/will be husband can take the job and I can just stay home with my baby, until Kaiden or Natalie starts school, then I can go to collage.

I think if I do, then things will work out. My mom would be supportive and I have close friends and family that would be there for us in case anything did happen. Not trying to say I would depend on anyone els to take care of my baby.

I just want to know your opinions on this.

[Eatafruit78]

Sounds like you are not ready. Life is about you, right?
You want what you want, right?
No need to follow basic logic like being an adult or get married before having a baby? No need to listen to your parents?
Work on your relationship skills. You don't sound like you live in harmony with your family- this baby is going to be his/her own person- so you better sharpen up you communication/love skills.
Do you expect your child to listen to you? love you ? respect you? Is that what you do for your parents?

I don't think you need a baby right now- you ought to look for God.
You live in your own reality...that's dangerous.

Frui.

[heather again]

Well now see I don't know what you mean. I respect my mother. I do eveything sheasks. Life isnt about me. Life is about my family. I was just giving a few reasons how I can support my child finacaly. I am going to get married. On my seventeenth birthday. Witch is 8 months away. I have found god, but I have my own views on god as well. My religion has nothing to do with my question, and who are you to say I need to find god when you don't know me, and I might not belive in god at all.
I just want to know what people think about what I asked, not to judge me because you don't know anything about me and my family so how can you say I don't respect my mother, and that my child wou;d nt respect me?

[Eatafruit78]

Well now see I don't know what you mean. I respect my mother. I do eveything sheasks. Life isnt about me. Life is about my family. I was just giving a few reasons how I can support my child finacaly. I am going to get married. On my seventeenth birthday. Witch is 8 months away. I have found god, but I have my own views on god as well. My religion has nothing to do with my question, and who are you to say I need to find god when you don't know me, and I might not belive in god at all.
I just want to know what people think about what I asked, not to judge me because you don't know anything about me and my family so how can you say I don't respect my mother, and that my child wou;d nt respect me?

It takes a village to raise a child- what do you have to offer to your child?
Love? Okay- what kind of love? I bet you love your parents- do you love your parents to perfection? When your mother gives you a lecture- do you open up and listen to what she means? do you open up and listen to her heart? Do you trusts that she is your mother and she wants what's best for you?
How is having sex at your age a good thing? Love is not a recreational activity.
I don't mean that poor people don't deserve to have a family, but you need structure, you need a real plan. How much do you have in savings?
Do you have medical insurance? Do you know what an epidural is and how much it costs?
Who is going to baby seat while you go to college? College is not like High school. Tuition and materials are very expensive. Sometimes the school commitments don't allow any time to be with family and friends.

I know you don't like my opinion, but in reality you should not be having sex at your age, or having children out of wedlock. Children who are born like this never have the same opportunities in life as children with a conventional family. This is not my opinion, this is reality.
You should educate and inform yourself. Babies are not child's play.
Continue studying, working, listening to your parents, pray for understanding. Look for God in His terms, not on your terms. Make yourself strong in the Faith- learn about God so you can teach your children.
Don't just have some pagan, secular view of God, and then have kids- life is hard and everyone suffers, so you better get real support and a real back bone.
You need to be strong and smart to face life. You don't seem to have a clue.

[Eatafruit78]

Well now see I don't know what you mean. I respect my mother. I do eveything sheasks. Life isnt about me. Life is about my family. I was just giving a few reasons how I can support my child finacaly. I am going to get married. On my seventeenth birthday. Witch is 8 months away. I have found god, but I have my own views on god as well. My religion has nothing to do with my question, and who are you to say I need to find god when you don't know me, and I might not belive in god at all.
I just want to know what people think about what I asked, not to judge me because you don't know anything about me and my family so how can you say I don't respect my mother, and that my child wou;d nt respect me?

It takes a village to raise a child- what do you have to offer to your child?
Love? Okay- what kind of love? I bet you love your parents- do you love your parents to perfection? When your mother gives you a lecture- do you open up and listen to what she means? do you open up and listen to her heart? Do you trusts that she is your mother and she wants what's best for you?
How is having sex at your age a good thing? Love is not a recreational activity.
I don't mean that poor people don't deserve to have a family, but you need structure, you need a real plan. How much do you have in savings?
Do you have medical insurance? Do you know what an epidural is and how much it costs?
Who is going to baby seat while you go to college? College is not like High school. Tuition and materials are very expensive. Sometimes the school commitments don't allow any time to be with family and friends.

I know you don't like my opinion, but in reality you should not be having sex at your age, or having children out of wedlock. Children who are born like this never have the same opportunities in life as children with a conventional family. This is not my opinion, this is reality.
You should educate and inform yourself. Babies are not child's play.
Continue studying, working, listening to your parents, pray for understanding. Look for God in His terms, not on your terms. Make yourself strong in the Faith- learn about God so you can teach your children.
Don't just have some pagan, secular view of God, and then have kids- life is hard and everyone suffers, so you better get real support and a real back bone.
You need to be strong and smart to face life. You don't seem to have a clue.

[Heather46]

Okay. Well I can see where you have some what of a point. And I'm not saying that it is not reality. But like I said in my first post. I can financially support my child. Money is not a problem. And I have a loving family to teach my child the things I can not. About the whole god thing and you thinking I'm to young to have sex, Those are your opinions. And I am guessing we do not have ANY understanding at all. Not that I'm not open to listening to your opinions and thoughts. I'm open minded but I am also very smart for my age and very opinionated, and I will speak my mind as well as listen to other peoples mind speaking. Now you may not see this on my level. But All I want you to know is that my mind is made up on what I want. && I am starting to think that I might be pregnant now. I am a spiritual person and I do Tarot Cards and Play with Ouija boards, And I was told my outcome of this will be very wonderful, and that I will or am as of now going to be or am pregnant in the next two months. I'm sure these are not your beliefs so I am just going to stop talking about it. I would continue to write to you but I have to be at work in 20 mins and I still have to get dressed.

[Ol'Line Rebel]

I'm with the older person on this 1.

There is a reason extra-marital abstinence and marriage itself are standard in the world and even indicated by God.

They are the best thing for the CHILD who may - or may not - be. (Yes, sex before you marry WISELY will affect your relationship and thus, how any future child will see the world.) That child has absolutely no say as to what his circumstances will be.

You are going in with the worst possible situation, minus abject poverty (background) to begin with. That is very foolish for the child, most importantly, and not very smart for you or your boyfriend. Neither of you have learned about yourselves much nor about people generally or every-day life generally.

Rarely these things - young "relationships" - work out. They are the exceptions, and it's not smart to shoot for yourself being the exception. It's especially not fair to the prospective child who didn't ask to be raised in that circumstance which is about the worst.

[Eatafruit78]

Okay. Well I can see where you have some what of a point. And I'm not saying that it is not reality. But like I said in my first post. I can financially support my child. Money is not a problem. And I have a loving family to teach my child the things I can not. About the whole god thing and you thinking I'm to young to have sex, Those are your opinions. And I am guessing we do not have ANY understanding at all. Not that I'm not open to listening to your opinions and thoughts. I'm open minded but I am also very smart for my age and very opinionated, and I will speak my mind as well as listen to other peoples mind speaking. Now you may not see this on my level. But All I want you to know is that my mind is made up on what I want. && I am starting to think that I might be pregnant now. I am a spiritual person and I do Tarot Cards and Play with Ouija boards, And I was told my outcome of this will be very wonderful, and that I will or am as of now going to be or am pregnant in the next two months. I'm sure these are not your beliefs so I am just going to stop talking about it. I would continue to write to you but I have to be at work in 20 mins and I still have to get dressed.

Tarot and the Board will drive you straight to ****. Demons rule those 'spiritual' activities. You open up to then, you are possesed by the devil.

Why do you say that you have a loving family to teach your child this and that? It is your decision to have a baby- so how are you deciding to bring more responsibilities if not a burden to your family? They are not the ones trying to get pregnant. You can't just bring a baby to the world and pretend that your family has you covered.
Money is not a problem? Do you have a trust fund for you and the baby? C'mon- last time I checked an epidural costed 3 thousand bucks.

Stay away from all that sorcery- because if you don't your children will pay for your mistakes. Your mind is not clear and you are made to believe thing that are not true. You simply don't know what you don't know and that's why you call yourself smart. Those demonic practices are infusing you with all twisted messages that sound so true because they come from "familiar spirits" which mean that demons who are familiar with your weaknesses are behind it. These demons go after you and know exactly what your soft spots are and how to guide you into your ruin.
Clean up your act.
Read and read some more. Read about people's experiences with Paganism and 'Spiritual Practices' - go ahead and learn statistics: you'll see that people with your profile has no chance in life. Look for studies of underage mothers having children out of wedlock, you'll see.
Do you know what inflation is? How does this resonate on your child's life?
Children can't eat processed food- organic food and untainted meats are also expensive-can you afford non genetically modified food for yourself and another person?
If you are thinking that you can feed a child with pop tarts, frozen waffles, veggie patties, lunch meats, boxes of juice, chocolate milk, etc you are looking at all the wrong sources of nutrition. Children don't grow healthy on Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or pasta with marinara sauce- no mac and cheese either.
Life demands a person who commits at least 3 hours of the day to the kitchen- how are you going to work, take care of your child, study and be in the kitchen?
I'll send you articles and websites of all sorts so you can start getting a sense of what's ahead.
Chances are that you are not even in the best shape to even get pregnant. Have you had a blood test for STD's recently?
I have to go get some coffee and get to Campus- so later gator.
I'll be praying for you Honey.

Frui.

[acuann]

Well, Just thought I'd add my two cents in here...

Heather, yes you are young. But you also sound determined and fairly level headed for your age. It sounds like you may in fact be pregnant. My hope is that you are taking the very best prenatal vitamins you can afford, with at least 800mcg of folic acid. My hope is that you and your partner are not smoking or drinking. If you are going to beat the odds (and the odds are definitely NOT in your favor at your age and under the circumstances), then you really need to take the very best care of yourself while trying to conceive and having a baby.

This means eating well, not drinking or smoking, getting regular exercise and taking prenatal vitamins. Get to the library and find every book you can on prenatal health and raising a baby. Educate yourself so you are better able to take care of the little one you want so desperately.

If you find that you are NOT pregnant, then you will have more time to prepare and enjoy your life right now. I have to agree with the others that 16 is very young to have a baby. You may really end up resenting this intrusion on your life... My point is to please not feel desperate about things - you have a long life ahead of you.

How long have you been with your boyfriend? That is great you are "in love", but please know that it is rare to find your soulmate at your age...took me 34 years !

Best wishes
DOM

[Squidgeblip]

Heather,
Being "right and wrong" is subjective. Regardless of age (where legal) if something feels right and it harms none then do it. It is better to regret doing something than not doing something. You sound level headed and unlike even alot of older mum's you have a good life plan!

Too often we conform to what others believe (WTF is with that guy spouting all the religious nonsense ?) I believe in God, but non of the judgemental ****. God is us and we are god. He put us here to experience all aspects of being in all forms. We choose how we are born in this world and we take what experiences we make back with us when we pass over.
If things don't work out long term, then that is what must be. If things do work out then also that is what must be. Do not have expectations. Your reality is what you make of it. So to live in your "own reality" is not dangerous, as you are quite capable to do as you feel is right.

If only more people would follow there hearts and not live in fear (MR/Ms God fearing person is a case in point)

Anyone with half a brain knows God is non judgemental and is about pure Love and that the Devil and Evil are Man created to have power and control over others. Kind of a side issue, but I don't feel comfortable with some one trying to scare you by putting the "fear of God" into you. You bet that'll be going on his/her Karmic record!

Anyway enough rambling and whatever you choose is right, if it feels right to you. Ask for guidance if you need reassuring If you believe in Angels, there are plenty of rscources available. If not, just good old positive attitude. What you think of you manifest.

Take care, Live your truth and be happy
In Love and Light