I've been depressed for some time now but...

[xrawrified]

My mom is in her own world of thinking life is fine and I have nothing to worry about but school. I beg to differ. I've been well... "sad" since around 8th grade (I'm in 11th grade now) but ever since the beginning of this year, I felt a whole lot worse. Just recently, my medication has run out and therefore, I had stopped taking it. It was for stress and since I stopped taking it, I have a much harder time to remembering. It's affecting my ability to work in school and I have no idea how to help myself, to get myself out of this dark cloud. I have no one to turn to in fear of my mom finding out and punishing me. My older sister is depressed as well and it started about 4 years ago. She cuts herself AND is on anti-depressants. She can't help me--how can she when she can't help herself? Please try to respond and tell me how I could get out of this? Please!

[Unregistered]

Can You Go To Your Schools Counselor or an Aunt or Uncle or Clergy. And ask for some help especially if you need the Meds.

[Unregistered]

Please find someone that you could talk to. call the teen hot line, or yell at the top of your lungs untell your mom sends you to your doctor.

[Unregistered]

I agree with the other respondents. It's really very important that you get some meds, and that you don't lose any gains that you've attained so far. And remember, since you have more of that illness in your family, you would probably be helping your folks rather than hurting them by being a good influence. Best thing to do is go to a guidance counselor, nurse, sysmpathetic teacher, peace councellor or pharmacist [they should give you a maintanence dosage free of charge by law.] Wish you and your family the best of luck.
Regards,
Dr FeelgoodwhenItakemyrx [or a little better once in a while.] I think I know somethat of what I speak. Get Rx or at least tell someone.
Regards,
Dr FeelGoodWhenITakeMyRx,

[Unregistered]

I am depressed myself. I am going to be 31 and I have a six year old daughter. I am the only child and also myself have tough parents.When I first realized I was depressed and had anxiety attacks, I didn't know what to do, because like you my parents would have thought that I was just being weird. They would say there is nothing wrong with you. But there is. So the best advice I can give you, is you need to go back to the dr somehow and get back on the meds. I'm on meds too. But if you need them you need them. I felt at first like they were controlling me, but they really do help. You are very young and have a whole life before you. You and your sister both need help. You need to go back to the dr and get the meds and try to seek some mental help with a phscologist. If my six year old grew up and said mom I feel depressed I would seek help for her. When my parents first found out I was on Medications they freaked out. As time went on things became easier with them but not everything else.
Sincerely,
Melissa
P.S. Find whoever will listen to you to help you. Try and tell, yell, cry to get your moms attention.

[Unregistered]

I've had depression since I was around 12 (pretty young). I'd get bullied a lot and used to cry to my parents that I wanted to be home schooled. My parents didn't give a **** since I have an older brother who had just been diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrom around the same time. I felt very alone all through my teens up until highschool. In highschool is wasn't as bad since the maturaty level of some people went up (like 5% lol) I started to realize then that it wasn't me that was wrong, it was them, and as long as I knew that I was a better person then they were then it was enough to get me through the day. What ever you do, and I know alot of depressed people do this, don't put others down to make yourself feel better cuz it wont. There are things you can do to make yourself feel better and its pretty simple. Sometimes I pre-occupy myself with something so I don't have to feel any emotions. I started a Myspace page (ya I know, lame) but I really like it cuz I can post my peevs and likes and whatnot and people respond pretty well for the most part. I sorta get lost in updating and changing my layouts and stuff cuz it's what I like to do. And seriously, as far as your mom goes, nothing you say will get her to listen, all it'll do is sound like wining. Moms suck lol! Especially if there depressed too cuz nothing you say is gonna be nearly as bad as what they've (at least thats how they make it seem). I don't know really what else to say ecsept I hope everything gets better for you. I know it'll get better trust me... I used to be practically suicidal and now I'm just homocidal! lol! I'm just playing. Oh yeah, and excirsizing helps too. They say it releases endorphines or whatever. (It really does though cuz I started excersizing and I felt a difference within weeks) Hope that helps!!!

Manda

[Unregistered]

I would say to try taking it to the Lord. When you have no other person to turn to, he is always there. I have been in the bottom of the pit, looking up, and didn't have anyone to turn to except God and it is amazing how many blessings I have received (over and over). It doesn't come over night, but once he realizes that you are serious about your hearts desire, he won't let it go void. You do also need to talk to a counselor because the Lord put experienced people here to help us that need it. It can work together. Your life hasn't ended. I promise it will work and I will pray for you.

[Unregistered]

Stop trying to get attention and complaining to other people. You dont need anyones help, you just need to stop choosing to be "depressed." Help yourself. You can do it. Join a youth group at church. Join any and all clubs you are intrested in at school. Study hard. Get involved in the community. Do community service. Start a buisness. Play some online video games against other people. If you do these things, you wont even have time to think about being depressed.

[Unregistered]

Start by having more faith in yourself. To be honest, its not the drugs that will 'cure' you of depression in the end, but you yourself. Look on the bright side of life, make it a personal challenge to find the silver lining on clouds that come your way. And finally, when you find some time alone, go to a silent place and meditate. Ignore everything that comes into your mind and concentrate on your breathing. Meditation helps calm you as well as your thoughts.

[Unregistered]

I was a depressed teen, and do my best to deal as an adult. I have a sibling with BPD and Bulemia. In other words, I understand what you have shared. You feel desperate, but also afraid--afraid of being listened to or causing even more upheaval in your household by getting the help you need.

It's hard, because all teenagers feel isolated, abnormal and "sad" at some level--so people try to trivialize what you're going through. Only you know what it is like, and your experience should be honored as what it is. However, know one can help you if you don't share your experience in the first place.

Finding something to do that makes you feel good about yourself (and is self-building rather than self-destructive) like tutoring other kids or doing yard work for seniors in your neighborhood or working out is a good idea. Whether or not you are clinically depressed or just experiencing teenage-ness at an extreme, these things will help you feel better. Exercise helps. Eating good helps. Having someone to confide in helps.

But if you really need meds, you really need meds and should actively work to get the help you need. My sibling grew up at a time before these disorders were well known and medication common. The end result is usually self-medication--and without a professional's help this usually means things that are self-destructive: drug abuse, alcohol abuse, bulemia...

Please, I urge you to get professional help if you feel unable to deal. Self-medication may seem like a good thing when you start, but in the end it makes things SO much worse and only saddles you with more mental problems and more health complications.

That means you might have to endure your mom's reaction to what you have to say, but if it gets you the meds and some good counseling, isn't it worth the risk of having to hear her yell for a minute? I'd say go to a counselor or crisis line, too, but the help you can get without the permission/consent/$$$ from your legal guardian may be too limited.

Believe it or not, it is a rare parent that actually wants their child to suffer. Of course, parents are human, too--meaning they can have disorders, diseases and issues that make them unable to help in a way you may need. BUT, until you solicit her help, you really don't know how your mom is going to react.

Also, how you ask for help can really make a difference--throwing a dramatic fit may get some attention, but maybe not the productive kind--especially if you mom is truly not wanting to hear what you have to say. If you're worried about her reaction, go do some research on your own--make an appt with a psychiatrist (who can prescribe meds) or psychologist, pick up the consent papers, solicit some brouchures from a crisis center or local govt's mental health center. Sit down like an adult and explain how you are feeling to your mom, show her what you have learned and that you really would like to seek some help--so much so that you have already made an appt--and that you would like her permission to continue treatment. If this really scares you, ask an objective person to help--a school counselor or nurse or social worker. This third person can help mediate and intervene so the discussion is rational rather than emotional.

If your mom still seems unreasonable about this, you may need to proceed without her. That's scary, but if you do I guarantee two things: doing SOMETHING makes you feel better than doing nothing and if you take positive action you will start to feel better about yourself, your abilities and your own competence as a human being. Meds may help regulate your brain chemistry, but they can't change how you feel about yourself. And in the end, you need a change in both to truly feel better.

I wish you well, and hope that you can get what you need to find healing. You are not alone. You are cared for, and you deserve to have your experience honored. But at the same time, you have a responsibility to communicate that experience (just like you did on this forum), so the people who care about you in your everyday, "real" life can love you, too.

It's been a while since your first post, has anything changed? Could you give us an update? i'm worried about you.