ASSULT - please someone help

[InNeed]

Hi please i know that this is a medical site, and that i'm about to talk about violence, but it stems from a medical issue. i'm running out of ideas and this is the only place i can think of to put this stuff down.

I'm an epileptic and suffer from a horrendous amount of seizures. My hubby who has always been supportive of them just can't handle them anymore i dont think. Last night during a seizure he got so frustrated at my body not doing what he wanted it to do that he smashed my head into the bed frame. He hits me when i start shaking, and shakes me if i have trouble breathing. If its a grand mal and i'm unconcious he's told me he leaves the room and lets me hit my head and thrash around and spit-up all over myself because if he watches me or tries to put a pillow under my head or something he goes balistic and and i wake up again covered in bruises.

I really want to believe that he's just traumatised by the events. its not like he lies to me about it, he's never blamed my bruises on falling into things while seizing, although that's what we tell me friends and family.

Last few days though i feel he's really losing it and becoming violent. Like seriously violent. Not just last night has he seriously hit me. A few nights ago I was upset and crying and I had a petite seizure (not even a biggy) and he stood me up and threw me accross the room and i passed out mid throw. He says he had to recusitate me. But sometimes he has to do this after a seizure anyway.

He's reallly scaring me, but I'm scared for him more than anything. How must he be feeling inside to do these things? He says that i scare him and he's seen me seize for 2 1/2 years now. Is it just getting all too much for him? SHould i get him some help? Should I leave? What should I do?

Please someone, anyone I'm so confused and scared. I love my hubby but He has me so scared for both our safetys right now.

please someone answer back with some advice

[Unregistered]

My husband is epileptic and has luckily only had one grandmal seizure in the twelve years we've been married. It was the scariest thing I've ever seen and he seized for 8 minutes with no brain damage. But, I had never seen anyone ever have a seizure. I got my neighbor real quick because I didn't want to be alone and she was a medical expert, then we called 911 to get the oxygen going. Does you husband know he's supposed to be timing the seizures? i found out anything passed 3 minutes is dangerous and he came out ok. I remember rubbing his head and trying to hold him because I feared he was going to die on me and I just didn't want to be with out him. Anyway one of the EMT's yelled at me and told me to leave him alone and don't even talk to him cuz I could of set off another seizure. I thought, "Who the **** are you" telling me not to touch my husband. That made me so made. I felt so sorry for him and after I saw him go through that it actually brought us closer together. It is scary having a seizure. My husband takes depakote @ 250 mg- but had gone off of it because he was labeled not a true epileptic and was on the meds as a precautionary. Now, we know for certain he is. the doc's tols me in the E.R. there's nothing they can do for the seizures except to time them and get oxygen right away as you lose it through your muscles when seizing. Instead of beating you up he should be calling an ambulance for oxygen. This is not a part of marriage vows- "For sickness and health". What ever happened to that? Beating you up when your sick is definately not compassion. Why is he beating you up- does he think he's able to stop the seizures??? He should be holding your hand at your very side walking you through every minute of it. That's not right sweetie. He could do so much more brain damage to you or even kill you. Can you leave and go stay with your parents??? In your situation you need help, not someone to make it worse. I'm not fond of divorce, but you know what I'd tell him where to go and make sure you have a back up plan. If you lived close to me I'd take you in myself- I feel so bad for you. Are you aware he's beating you up during these seizures??? I wouldn't stick around. Does he call for an ambulance when you do seize??? Does he help you get cleaned up after a seizure???

[Unregistered]

Leave, leave, leave, leave, leave, leave, just leave him and go to your parents before it gets worse. don't be ashamed to talk to you parents about it. If it were me I'd be at mt Mom's in a heart beat. No man or women deserves to be beat up like that. You parents would be glad to know your safer with them, then having to attend your funeral. Do you see what I'm saying???? Just get out of there and quick.

[Unregistered]

It's me again, I would make like I was going on a shopping trip with my Mom and make it real. Then don't come back again and stay with them. I would go back with my father to get my belongings. Don't worry about being loney there are plenty of men out there that don't have an anger problem and don't beat people up. You will find someone to love you the right way. Just get out quietly and don't take anything other than your meds and purse and remember your going shopping with your Mom and it's for real and your not coming home to him and let your Dad help you with the rest. They can help you with the leagalistics later after things calm down, but get out now before it happens again. There may not be a next time. Keep us posted.

[Unregistered]

report the situation! You only have one life. If you don't.. I will.

[InNeed]

Um, He does help with cleaning me up and stuff. And normally he's really good with helping wake me up and holding my handand things like that.

He found out that I posted on here. And I thought he'd be really angry. but he wasn't. He was really proud of me. And said that he knew it was wrong and that he just lost the plot and that there was no excuse for it and it was a mistake and it wouldn't happen again. He was late coming home from work because he bought me a brand new guitar to appologise (I'm a muso). I was so sick that next day that I practically lay in bed all day apart from my one post on here. And he comes home with a present for me and a heart felt appology.

No I can't really go stay with my parents because the epilepsy requires 'care' and my oldies have an incredibly busy schedual. My hubbbys hours work around what times I mostly require help. And his boss is incedibly flexible with him needing time off now and then. I couldn't get that with m&d.

I really want to believe that he means that he's sorry. That he knows it was wrong. That he was traumatised.

I had another seizure last night, a big one, and a friend of ours was there to help who knows cpr, and i was told he just held me and cried once it was all over until i woke up again. Does that sound like a violent man to you?

[InNeed]

Pleese guys, I'm not making excuses for him, I'm just really not sure!?

[Unregistered]

I still leave-once would be enough for me. Thats all it takes. Oh........the gift giving after a beating or two. That's a familiar tune... and a pattern of abuse. My Dad used to buy my Mom roses by the dozen and the prettiest lingerie outfits from the fancy stores as a peaceoffering, then a month later back to the old ways again. And finally, she left. And I'll tell you nobody felt sorry for him, we still don't. I'd bother my parents even if they had a busy schedule. I'd start from fresh ground.

[Unregistered]

if he had hit you on your first date,would there have been a second?

[Unregistered]

has anything settled down sweety? keep as up to date hey?